Healthy relationships are not automatic. It takes daily effort by both people to do 3 simple things.
Do you think you have a healthy relationship? Some people do and while it’s easy to think that it just comes easily for them, there are probably things they’re doing every single day to improve that relationship and keep it healthy, whether they’re aware of it or not. Usually it takes work to keep relationships alive and to keep the sparks lit, so to speak, but for those who want to improve and have a more healthy relationship, there are 3 simple things you can do.
1. Ask yourself if you really act as if you’re in a relationship or if your actions are the same as when you were on your own. Do you love to stubbornly insist on doing what you want with little or no regard for your partner’s feelings or opinions? This is obviously no way to have a healthy relationship. Some people resent taking their partner’s opinions into consideration when it comes to their own actions and resent ever having to do something different than what they want to do, but having a healthy relationship means that you’re working toward being in a partnership and not just acting like two single people that live together.
2. Acknowledge the truth about your sense of selfishness. People often want to do whatever they want and want things their way all the time. Grown-up, adult and mature people learn to put this selfishness aside for the good of others. Anyone that insists on their way all the time will have a hard time establishing and maintaining any sort of a relationship, let alone a healthy one. While this doesn’t mean that anyone should always give up what they want, it does mean that two people should be working at making each other happy. This means compromise and meeting in the middle for many issues. It might also mean “taking turns” when it comes to getting your own way; this weekend he picks the movie and next weekend it’s her choice. Tonight you see his obnoxious friends that you don’t like and tomorrow night your family comes over for dinner, even if he can’t stand your mother. Trading off things like this is part of any healthy relationship.
3. Think about what positive steps you take every day to make sure you’re in a healthy relationship. Are you kind and considerate to your partner? Do you find things to compliment him or her about? Do you bite your tongue when you’re ready to be sarcastic and dismissive? Do you really listen to him or her or do you have a tendency to tune out? Do you do the things that are important to him or her in having a healthy relationship? Taking positive steps toward building up your relationship is just as important as avoiding the negative behaviors that tear it down.